BOOK TEA

     This year I'm starting early!
     "I've heard that one before.  Just saying."
     Sigh.  I have this other person who lives in my head who's life mission it is to correct me, point out my foolishness, remind me.  She calls me "Janie-girl," in her superior little way, and not to put too fine a point on it, she's a real bitch.  She doesn't have a name, but for our purposes here, I'll call her Other Person, O.P. for short.
     We were talking about the Book Tea, which it has been my privilege to attend for the last few years, courtesy of my friend Julie.  This group of really smart women had a book club, but as they all have busy, important lives, had insufficient time in their daily schedules to meet regularly.  Inspired, they decided to have a once-a-year event in which they'd meet to have a book exchange.  They invite outsiders, all also really smart, busy women, and the premise is that each of us bring the book which we've most enjoyed in the past year, and at the end of the evening, each chooses one of these books to take home.
     "Excuse me, but are you suggesting that we are one of these 'smart, busy women?'  O.P. says.  "Pretty proud of ourselves, are we?"
     No!  It's just that Julie is my friend and she invites me.  All the other women are smart and busy, that's all I meant.
     Anyway, this event is always in December, at Renee's beautiful home.  I think I read as much as anyone, so I should really anticipate each year's Tea, hope to be invited.  And I do, for the first few months of any year.  Then reality bites, and I start to fret.  See, the thing is with this party that you have to stand up and say a few words about the book you've brought, that you found the best of your reading year.  So it's not just an anonymous pile of books and you pick one that looks interesting.  No, no, you have to sell your book, sort of, and you don't want everyone thinking you've been reading Lee Child or whomever.
     "You have this incredibly stupid way of turning everything into a competition," O.P. points out.  "Why can't you just relax?.  And I love that 'whomever.'  Whom are we trying to impress?
     Well, it's not that fun when you find that the book you brought is the last lonely book on the pile and your hostess finds herself stuck with it.
     "That only happened once.  Please get over yourself."
     Once was enough.  I become hyper-critical of my reading list.  What will people think of this one?  (In other words, what does this choice say about me?  Pitiful, actually)  The months go by, and I think, aha, this time, I got it!
     And then it is December and suddenly all my candidates look unappealing.  But this year, Alli has come to my rescue.  She has introduced me to John Green, who writes Young Adult books and I'm impressed with him, with Alli, for that matter, and decide to present Looking For Alaska as my entry in the competition -- uh, I mean Tea.
      Renee's home is beautiful and festive, everyone arrives and puts her book into a basket.  We nibble on appetizers, drink wine, and catch up with one another.  Then we all find chairs and sit down.  For the past few years, I've found two chairs rather outside main circle and Vik joins me back there in relative obscurity.  Renee begins by pulling one of the books from the basket, and she whose book it is stands and describes the story, why she chose it, then places the book on the stairs, to become the take-home pile.
     The books all seem interesting, with the exception of The Goldfinch, by Donna Tartt, a writer I do not like at all.  Vik whispers "try to get that one."  No!  But others leap into the conversation to admire Ms. Tartt, and so here we are.  Out of step.  Is anyone going to like John Green?
     "Sounds like we're a little jealous of this Donna Tartt person," O.P. suggests.  "Famous, successful? And let's remember the point of this evening.  We're here to exchange ideas, interests, to . . . "
     I know!  I get it!  Hello out there?  If you like Donna Tartt, by all means go for it.  The Goldfinch.  Everyone loves it.  But please look at John Green, too, especially if you have a young person in your family who likes to read.
     That evening, I came home with Glaciers, by Alexis Smith, a Portland writer.  The book is quite lovely, a small treasure.  And Looking for Alaska was snatched up by Sally, who is so voracious a reader that a rule has been named after her to mandate that each woman may bring only one book to the Book Tea.  Hooray!  And now it is January 1, 2014, and in the event that I am invited to the Tea again, it's not too early to start the hunt.  First book of the year is San Miguel by T.C. Boyle, Christmas gift from Larry, and one of my very favorite writers.  But not everyone likes T.C Boyle, oddly enough, so this book won't be my choice for the Tea.  Next up:  The Round House, by Louise Erdrich.  Anyone else have a suggestion?
     "Okay, the morning is fleeting.  It's a beautiful day, and I hope we're going to get busy now.  Practice. Go for a walk.  Do not pick up that iPad and play your silly Hay Day."
     Thank you, O.P., what would I do without you?